Redefining Success: Why Hard Work Isn’t the Whole Story (And What Really Matters)
- nathaliemanning108
- May 8, 2025
- 4 min read
Updated: Dec 30, 2025
For years, we’ve been told that success is earned through grit alone — that the harder you work, the more worthy you are. But for many of us, especially those who move through life with a sensitive nervous system, a tender heart, or a bruised past, that story never truly fits.
There’s a different truth that reveals itself when you begin listening to your body instead of the noise.
It’s quieter and wiser.
Because the kind of success that lasts isn’t a grind — it’s a frequency. One your whole being settles into, not something you force yourself toward.
If you’ve ever felt suffocated by hustle culture, if your body whispered “no more” while the world demanded “just push harder” — you’re not failing.
You’re waking up.
Why the Playing Field Was Never Level
The old system loves to pretend we all stand on equal ground. But of course we don’t.
Some people grow in fertile soil, held by safety, support, and opportunity. Others find themselves in rough terrain, armed with little more than instinct, survival and stubborn hope. Our paths are shaped by privilege, resources, timing, trauma, health, single parenthood, chronic illness, access, and safety.
Hard work alone cannot erase inequality. And when we pretend it can, we create shame where compassion should live.
There is nothing empowering — or spiritual — about ignoring the complexity of real lives and real people.
The Cost of the ‘Boss Babe’ Fantasy
Even in our hardest seasons, we’re sold a polished version of success: luxury holidays, flawless routines, immaculate homes, effortless six-figure launches.
But most of it is performance, curated to look like ease.
Someone might look successful online, but you have no idea what they’re carrying — their mental load, their support system, their grief, or their privilege.
Now place that beside someone surviving domestic abuse, parenting alone, managing chronic illness, or rebuilding their life piece by piece. They can end up feeling like they’re “falling behind,” even though they’re demonstrating a level of strength our culture rarely celebrates — let alone posts on Instagram.
There’s an old saying: when you compare, you despair.
And if you really think about it — how often has comparison ever left you feeling more at home in yourself?
Success Is Personal, Not Performative
• a healthy nervous system
• choosing rest instead of burnout
• making your home feel safe and nurturing
• showing up for a yoga class or a walk
• being present with your child
• staying steady or grounded today
• honouring your sensitivity instead of fighting against it
• trusting your own pace and the timing of your life.
These moments matter and they are not small.
They are actually the foundations of a meaningful life.
Dream big, yes. Keep growing, creating, and moving toward a life that feels fuller and more alive. But let those dreams come from alignment and authenticity — not comparison or pressure.
When I Got Sober, I Thought My Life Was Over
In early sobriety, everything felt raw. I was angry, overwhelmed, resentful, and convinced everyone else had been handed a map for life that I somehow missed.
Then someone suggested I write down ten things a day I was grateful for.
It felt ridiculous.
How could I practice gratitude when everything felt like it was collapsing?
But I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired — so I tried.
That’s where gratitude first became a grounding practice for me. Not a spiritual bypass, but a lifeline. A way of redefining what mattered and a way of building a different kind of success — from the inside out.
What Gratitude Has Become for Me Now
In the beginning, my list was simple:
“I made it through the day.”
“I ate.”
“I slept.”
“I laughed.”
Over time, this practice has become something deeper. I may still call it a gratitude list, but in truth it’s a way of cultivating deep self-respect, nurturing self-trust, and acknowledging where I find joy and peace.
It’s a way of remembering that life isn’t about the loud wins. It lives in the moments that are ordinary, and somehow still magical.
Two Decades of Becoming
Because over the past 23 years, I’ve lived through seasons I once believed would break me:
Divorce.
Becoming a single parent.
Chronic health challenges.
Toxic relationships and friendships.
Fertility struggles and miscarriage.
Sobriety — and then emotional sobriety.
Losing a business and rebuilding it.
Starting over more times than I can count.
And because life isn’t built only in the big milestones, it's important to acknowledge that it’s woven together from small, sacred moments — a warm hug, a calm morning, your child’s laughter, the feeling of safety after a season of uncertainty.
These moments matter.
They shape us.
They are the stitches that hold the fabric of life together.
Redefine Your Story
If you’re overwhelmed or stuck in comparison, try this:
Write down ten things you’re grateful for today or that you've done that you're proud of.
They can be tiny.
They can be ordinary.
They can be imperfect.
Just write them down - and then do it again tomorrow.
Because life - and success - isn’t linear or glossy. It’s a rhythm that shifts with the seasons we move through. And over time, as you align yourself with your truth, something softens. You begin to feel more grounded, more at home in the beauty and quiet wonder of your everyday life. You remember that everything is transient - and yet some things remain.
Let’s redefine success in a way that feels real.
If you’d like to continue the conversation, leave a comment or join me on Instagram @sthesoulcollectiveuk
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